Oh, these windows of life thru which I’ve been privileged to peep.

A Life Experienced

I was struck dumb with stupidity.

The American Pursuit of Stupid

Honesty often corrupts the truth.

A Criminal Justice System

I have Attention Def– ooh look, a shiny thing!

Sketchy Artist (Comedy)

Of course he put his foot in his mouth.  He’s trying to hide the evidence of having just shot it.

A Tribute to Ann Richards

Smart = stupid + experience(s).  One is no more valid than the other, however one is more fundamental.

The American Pursuit of Stupid

I feel a shadow pass over my grave.

A Song in-Progress

Don’t go painting me into a corner your not going to be able to get yourself out of.

In debate

When I hear of people having a break with reality, I think, “now that would be nice…”.

I’m Serious (Comedy)

I’d rather stand corrected than sit in ignorance.

A Life Experienced

Whether a topic for a joke is funny or not is decided by a single laugh.

I’m Serious (Comedy)

You get to have your own opinion, but you don’t get to have your own reality.

The American Pursuit of Stupid

I run social experiments on myself all the time.  I’m pretty much the only one I can trick into doing them.

A Life Experienced

…and I want the entire ransom paid in unmarked quarters.

Sketchy Artist (Comedy)

I was hoping for more pro and less bono.

A Criminal Justice System

Life is really is measured in pain.  The thing is, the better you live it, the more excruciating it becomes.

A Life Experienced

I didn’t do it.  My brain did it.

A Life Experienced

Q:  What’s the hardest thing about being a necrophiliac?
A:  Preserving a lasting relationship.

Sketchy Artist (Comedy)

You can’t have your cake, eat it too and lose weight.

The American Pursuit of Stupid

Gravity favors the fat.

The Board (A New Musical)

I thought I was wrong once, but it turns out I was mistaken.

Sketchy Artist (Comedy)